T started school a couple of weeks ago... I think we already talked about that. It is preschool through our school district at a school very close to our flat although it is not his neighborhood school which doesn't take special needs preschoolers. The shocking thing for me was to see that the elementary schools here go through 8th grade. There is no middle school. There are kids bigger than me and luckily, T isn't phased by size.
When K and I drop off T in the morning, he is by far the youngest child in the entire school. I need to mention that all the kids in this summer program are special needs. This means that some, like T, have needs that are different than most kids that you can't see on first glance. Many of the boys big and small have an Autism Spectrum Disorder, just like T. All of the behaviors and signs of this are totally acceptable to K... he understands it as he lives with someone with Autism. He knows that echolalia, stimming, language barriers, sensory seeking, etc. are all part of everyday life. He doesn't see anything strange or weird or different because he intimately knows someone who does some of these things.
On the other hand, this is K's first experience with kids with other special needs. Many of the children have physical evidence of what makes them different from K. Wheelchairs, tracheostomies, crutches, and more fill the classrooms. None of this is out of the ordinary for T as this is his first time in school. He likes the wheels on some of the kids walkers and chairs and is excited when they show him. K on the other hand is nervous and curious, but at the same time, being 5, he has yet to learn that he shouldn't shout out things like, "LOOK AT THAT KID!" despite having had many conversations.
Let me set the scene for you. K is naturally advanced in some things that pertain to logic and intelligence. For instance he reads at about a second or third grade level and the other day was explaining physics to me. He was practicing multiplying money this morning. These things that have solid explanations like math and reading and science just make sense to K. Many subjects you never have to explain more than once. HOWEVER, the kid is only 5. His emotional level is that of his age so he struggles with this pull of knowledge versus emotion as the latter is not easily explained. So here I have an intelligent little boy who can communicate very well and understand exactly what is occurring around him, but emotionally, its all just too much to wrap his mind around things like other kids having special needs that are different than what we experience at home. He asks questions, and has been learning not to shout out, but ask nicely. We have also been stressing that it is okay to talk to some of the other kids that go to T's school. It is okay to wonder what things are, but we need to be polite about it all.
I have been deliberating on the term "disability" as many of the children at T's school are "disabled". K does not like the term "special needs" because he feels he is special as well. Really, he's right and we all are. When talking about how everyone is different, I have been stating that some people's bodies work differently or parts of them don't work at all. We have explained Autism as being something that makes T's brain work differently and compared it to wires in a computer. Its enough for now, for K. He accepts the answers.
How do you teach these emotional lessons? Stepping out into the world with small kids, how to you show that it is okay to be different and it is okay to ask for help to understand?
xoxo N
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